Over the past several hours I've been processing the loss of my Tardis. I'm glad that I didn't find him myself. I'm a pretty sensitive person and I am not sure how I would've handled it. From what I am told though there is no possible way he could've suffered. He passed instantly. I take comfort in that.
I'm sad that I can't remember the last interaction we had. Whether it was a passing meow, or a little pat on the head, I don't remember. Obviously I wasn't expecting to not see him again.
I'm mad that people can be so careless with their driving. I get that accidents happen, but they shouldn't. Tardis had been an indoor/outdoor cat for a very long time. He was smart. I have witnessed people flying down my street with no regard to their surroundings and I'm willing to bet that's what happened to him.
I keep expecting to see him laying in his car seat on my porch every time I go outside. I have to remind myself he isn't going to be there and it really fucking hurts.
He may have been a cat but he was very much my friend. I can't help but be emotional losing my friend. I really loved the guy. My kids loved him. Fortunately, they are young so they don't really understand it all. But they are still sad because he was their friend too. Even Will is torn up over losing him. He was family.
Tardis will forever hold I special place in my heart. I feel lucky to have been his family. I'm happy he chose us to spend his life with...and I'm really going to miss him. That's all.